Category: Wicked Strong: The Journey of B-Cide

In 2012, my life changed forever. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), a condition that would challenge me in ways I never imagined. Staying creative with chronic illness became a defining part of my journey. At the time, I was on the verge of releasing my album Pulmonary Embolism, inspired by a near-death experience after suffering a pulmonary embolism that left me hospitalized for a week. Music had always been my outlet, and this album was supposed to carry me into the next phase of my career. But MS put everything on hold. It felt like my entire life had been ripped apart.

I’d been working with Project Born, a group signed under the legendary Psychopathic Records. I toured with them for about a year, spending so much time in Flint, Michigan, that I eventually made it my home. Polk, Nitty, and Pint from Project Born treated me like family, and their support meant the world to me. Even after Pint’s passing years later, their kindness remains one of the bright spots in my journey. But when I was diagnosed with MS, I couldn’t promote Pulmonary Embolism the way it deserved. Touring was out of the question, and my dream of building momentum for the next stage of my career faded.

At first, I brushed off the diagnosis. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal and tried to keep moving forward. Looking back, I wish I’d taken it more seriously from the start. The symptoms progressed, and eventually, I became homebound. I found myself in a wheelchair, unable to do what I loved most: performing and connecting with fans. It’s hard to stay positive when your entire world shifts, but somehow, I refused to give up.

Music as a Reflection of My Struggles

Staying creative with chronic illness has taught me resilience. I’ve always poured my life into my music. Heartbreak, happiness, struggles—whatever I’m going through, I write about it. So when MS entered my life, it was only natural that it became part of my story. But writing about MS wasn’t easy. It took me nearly ten years to process the impact it had on my life and creativity.

During those years, I released singles and digital tracks without much promotion. It was frustrating because I knew I had something to say, but I couldn’t get it out the way I wanted. That changed on October 18, 2024, when I released my album Lienda. The title, inspired by Juggalo slang, means “all or nothing.” That’s exactly what this album represents for me: giving everything I have to my art, despite the limitations MS has imposed.

Lienda is deeply personal and features collaborations with artists I admire, including Klokwerk E, Starze Rakkz, Bizarre, Krizz Kaliko, Stevie Stone, Kurupt, Darby O’Trill, and Klep of Bio Killaz. While having big names on the project is exciting, what matters most to me is sharing my story and reaching people who might be going through their own struggles.

One of the standout tracks is “Throw Away Your Problems,” where I open up about living with MS. It’s about finding strength in the face of adversity and refusing to let challenges define you. Music like this keeps me going. It’s a reminder that even when life feels overwhelming, creativity can be a lifeline.

Creativity Beyond Music: Starting a Clothing Line

When MS made it difficult to focus solely on music, I realized I needed another outlet for my creativity. Staying creative with chronic illness doesn’t have to be limited to one form of art. That’s when the idea of starting a clothing line came to me. I’d always been passionate about streetwear, especially styles that resonate with the Juggalo community and underground culture. A long-time friend and former manager, Jeremy, reached out and encouraged me to take the leap. He pushed me to not only release a new album but also launch a Juggalo streetwear brand.

At first, I wasn’t sure how I’d pull it off. Being homebound and dealing with the ups and downs of MS made it seem impossible. But I started small, sketching designs and brainstorming ideas late into the night. Slowly, the vision came together. Just like my music, the clothing line became an extension of who I am—a way to express resilience, individuality, and strength.

The clothing line is about more than just fashion. It’s about creating a connection with people who understand what it means to struggle and persevere. Every design has meaning, whether it’s inspired by my journey with MS or my experiences in the Juggalo community. Starting this brand has given me a new purpose, and it’s proof that creativity can thrive even in the face of adversity.

Staying Creative with Chronic Illness

Living with MS is a daily battle. Staying creative with chronic illness means adapting to the challenges each day brings. Some days, getting out of bed feels impossible. Pain, fatigue, and other symptoms make it hard to focus, let alone create. But I’ve learned to adapt. On the toughest days, I remind myself that even small steps forward are still progress. Writing a few lines of a song, sketching a new design, or brainstorming ideas for my brand—these little victories keep me moving.

There have been moments of despair, times when I’ve cried and felt like giving up. But eventually, those tears turned into determination. Laughter replaced frustration, and I started to see that even in the darkest times, there’s light if you look for it. Staying creative with chronic illness isn’t easy, but it’s possible. You just have to be patient with yourself and focus on what you can do, rather than what you can’t.

Inspiring Others Through My Story

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that inspiration can come from the most unexpected places. When I was lying in a hospital bed recovering from my pulmonary embolism, I wrote Pulmonary Embolism. That experience taught me that even in moments of pain and uncertainty, creativity can be a powerful force.

Now, with Lienda and my clothing line, I hope to inspire others facing similar struggles. Whether it’s living with MS, dealing with chronic illness, or navigating life’s challenges, I want people to know they’re not alone. Your story matters, and your voice deserves to be heard.

I don’t want to be known as the rapper with MS. I want to be known simply as a rapper, an artist, a creator. But if my journey can help someone else find strength, then I’m proud to share it. Staying creative with chronic illness is tough, but it’s also shown me the power of resilience and the importance of staying true to yourself.

Moving Forward

MS may have changed my life, but it hasn’t stopped me from pursuing my passions. Whether it’s through music, fashion, or sharing my story, I’m determined to keep creating and connecting with others. As long as my voice works and my mind keeps turning out ideas, I’ll keep going.

To anyone facing their own struggles: don’t give up. Staying creative with chronic illness is a powerful tool, and it can help you navigate even the hardest times. Keep pushing forward, and remember that you’re stronger than you think.

Check out Lienda and my clothing line to see how I’m turning struggles into art. Let’s keep building a community that celebrates resilience, individuality, and creativity. Together, we can show the world what it means to stay creative through struggles.

For over two decades, I’ve poured my heart into my music and built a name for myself within the Juggalo community. Life on the road was my world—performing, connecting with fans, and living the dream of an underground musician. But ten years ago, everything changed when I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). As a musician with MS, I’ve faced challenges I never imagined, but they’ve also helped me find a new vision for my life.

Adapting to Life as a Musician with MS

Multiple sclerosis is unpredictable. Some days, I feel strong enough to take on the world. Other days, even getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. The toughest part wasn’t the physical challenges—it was letting go of the life I used to know. Touring and performing defined me, and losing that felt like losing myself.

But MS taught me something important: I’m more than a performer. I’m a musician with MS, but I’m also a creator, an artist, and someone who finds strength in adversity. Even though I couldn’t tour, I could still write music, design clothing, and connect with my fans in new ways. My wheelchair became a symbol of my strength, not my limitations, and my home became my studio—a place where I could keep building and sharing my vision.

How MS Reshaped My Creativity

MS didn’t take my creativity—it reshaped it. My music has always been a reflection of my life, and now, it carries the weight of my struggle and resilience. Songs that once hyped up crowds now tell stories of perseverance, and I hope they inspire others to find their own strength.

This same energy carries into my streetwear brand. Every design I create speaks to individuality and strength—values I’ve leaned on throughout my journey. My clothes aren’t just for Juggalos; they’re for anyone who refuses to let life’s challenges define them. As a musician with MS, I channel my struggles into designs that inspire people to keep pushing forward.

Finding Strength in Community

The Juggalo community has been a source of constant support. Even though I can’t tour, the connection I feel with fans is stronger than ever. Their stories of overcoming struggles, living authentically, and embracing who they are inspire me to keep going.

Through my music, my streetwear, and my story, I hope to give back to this community that’s given me so much. Living as a musician with MS hasn’t been easy, but it’s shown me that strength doesn’t come from what you can do—it comes from how you rise when life knocks you down.

Keep Rolling Forward

Being homebound doesn’t mean being sidelined. It means finding new ways to share my vision and keep creating. MS changed my life, but it also sharpened my purpose: to inspire others through music, fashion, and my story.

If you’ve faced challenges of your own, know that you’re not alone. Strength comes in many forms, and no matter what life throws at you, there’s always a way to keep rolling forward.

Check out my latest designs and music on [www.b-cide.com]—and let’s keep building a community that celebrates resilience and individuality.